Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
