I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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