please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize