Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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