I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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