Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think my moral compass just broke
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
