So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
