Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
