Already got asked if we're dating
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
