Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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