i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
