the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
