How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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