i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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