50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
