I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
