Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we're making bets on your personal life
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
