when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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