Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET

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(917): View more from New York City

so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...

(845): View more from New York

Are you serious?

(917): View more from New York City

yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...

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(914): View more from New York

Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.

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(909): View more from California

I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.

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(630): View more from Illinois

We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”

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