Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
