he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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