The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
