I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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