a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
