i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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