fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
