i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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