i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
