Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
