I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
