I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
