is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
