Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
