just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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