Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just threw up on my dentist
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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