textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
