a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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