Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
