6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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