apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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