my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
