Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
