I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
