So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize