Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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