I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
