Fine. I'll sleep in my office
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
