Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize