nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
