I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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