she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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