My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
