Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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