birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
