Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
