he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
