woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
