did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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