He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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